I just got off of the phone with a close friend of
mine from New Orleans who reminded me of a lesson, one that he had actually taught me while Jess and I were there less than a month ago. It was a lesson and a reminder all rolled into one. It was a lesson in the little
reminders!
I have been struggling lately with the idea of being
stigmatized as a self-published writer, and I have gone on about it here on
this blog in a number of different ways, all of which if you were to put them into
one, cohesive statement, would read: STOP! NO! DON'T SELF-PUBLISH!
Now, there is a big part of me that still feels this way. In this business, the best
way to go will always be the traditional way, and that way is by going from the
agent to the publisher to the contract.
But what if your books are already out there? What if, as is the case for me, your first two books are
already formatted and saturated on the Internet and are available now in all of
the relevant formats? Do I just
turn my back on my own bibliography?
Believe it or not, this was indeed my plan. I had already done the research weeks before
my trip to New Orleans on how to pull my titles from the Internet as to not even
exist as a published writer, saving that distinction instead for when something would actually happen, for when I finally sold my first book. That's right, I was going to destroy everything that defined
me up until this point, all of the celebrations by myself and by my family while we held my books in our hands for the first time, shaking the proverbial Etch A Sketch
on my vocation as a writer.
I use the word "vocation" intentionally,
mainly because I couldn't use the word "career" during the time I was
considering erasing myself. In my
mind, I didn't have a career unless I could consider it how I made my
living. "Vocation,"
then, became a more appropriate word.
So, there it was. I was
going to rip my forty years as a writer-to-be from the history books,
regardless of the fact that it would be virtually impossible to remove the
books from every database that ever had an Internet spider go out and grab them and put them on their site. In my mind, all I
had to do was cut off the blood source, and the body would die.
And then I took a trip back home to New Orleans.
The last part of our trip was a visit to see some
old friends, one of whom I just got off of the phone with, and together we walked
through his recording studio and looked at all of the visual art that had poured
out of him over the past few months.
It was astonishing. There
were paintings everywhere. And
hidden away underneath all the canvases was the actual recording studio, its
shelves still holding tapes from recording sessions that were done years ago,
still waiting in some cases to be mixed and put out into the universe. And it occurred to me just then that no matter
how much tinkering would be done to these master tapes, no matter what harmonies
would be taken out or added in post, that the songs would still maintain their integrity
by their titles alone. They would
all fall into a certain, chronological record of artistic productivity. As my buddy said to me only a few hours
ago, "It would be something else to add to your Wikipedia page!"
This last trip to New Orleans reminded me of what it
is that I do, of where it is that I come from, and where I come from is a city
of defiant creatives. The audacity
that we had in scheduling entire days around sitting in recording studios was
almost as important as what we were recording. It's where I get the discipline that I have today. And judging from what I saw on Facebook
and Twitter before our trip, it was still happening, and I got confirmation of
that as I strolled through my friend's skull there in his recording studio.
And so, during the drive back, I decided that I was
going to play ball with my fate. I
contacted my publisher and asked them about the possibility of reissues, like
any, say, non-fiction book that would have to be updated in order to keep the
information inside pertinent, and they said it was no problem. Do I plan to do this? Maybe. But that would be between my publisher and myself and it
would be undetectable. The point
is that I have that option, and the fact remains that those two books, the ones
that exist in the universe with their covers and copyright years and ISBNs all over the world, are my first and second books respectively. Period. They are mine.
And they mark where I was then as a writer.
Self-published books get picked up all the time now
by traditional publishing houses, which marks yet another change in the industry
over the years, and so having books out there that I can be proud of is simply
the foundation on which everything else can be built. Regardless of what harmonies may have been added or taken
out, and no matter what changes are made to the original compositions, they are
still the same old melodies by title alone that inspired me to want to launch
them out into the universe from day one.
In summary, here is an excerpt from the
"Acknowledgements" page of Scenes
from the Blanket that I think says it all. Written during the year following Hurricane Katrina, it is exactly
what I meant when I said that I was reminded of a certain lesson while returning
to the city that made me who I am:
"Lastly I would like to thank the great city of
New Orleans, my hometown and infinite muse. This book is about you -- about your people and your
geography, about your spirit and your darkness, about your culture and your
ideas. You exist far outside your
city limits, within me and within us all, through the aesthetics you've so
graciously given to your children.
For this gift, New Orleans, I humbly thank you."
1 comment:
There you go! PJ
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